Saturday, April 28, 2012


My recent post on social networks got me thinking about friends. In that article I talk about how I dropped around 170 of my Facebook Friends in an attempt to improve my Facebook experience.

I dropped to 17 friends originally and that grew steadily to 40 before I stopped using Facebook all together. I don't have 40 friends. I don't think I even have 17 friends. 7 might be too many still.

One can be as bad as Two
Facebook's idea of friends is far too loose. I don't have a definition for friends, but Facebook's definition is along the lines of, "Anyone," and that's how most everyone on Facebook treats it.

Recently I've been thinking about who my friends are and what that means. Ideally, I am as good of a friend as I want my friends are to me. When someone proves to me that they're not going to treat our friendship that way, then I end that friendship. Most relationships have a natural end, those that don't are the only ones worth maintaining.

Pick up that can

And so I've thought about all of the relationships I've had and isolated myself for a bit. I wanted to know who I wanted to be close with and who i didn't care about. I wanted to know who's interaction with me had ended and who could be that rare person to accompany me throughout life. I followed some of Steve Pavlina's advice.  I declared bankruptcy and decided to start over.

Not that I had much to drop. I only decreased what I had by a small amount, but it was important to get rid of the things that I didn't renew and now I have a clearer view on life and my friends.

Here is what I've found:

  • Good Friends are loving and accepting
  • Good Friends are interesting and keep up with a conversation
  • Great Friends have an active mind
  • Best Friends are open and honest
With this metric, I've spent a lot of time discovering and organizing my relationships. Who are my friends, who I have value in keeping and what relationships I want to fight to keep. 

1 comment:

Travis Austin said...

I did the same thing. Trim the fat, and keep what's worthwhile. I hope I wasn't dropped.