Monday, November 12, 2012

Arrow

A friend of mine got me into the new CW series based on Green Arrow, appropriately named Arrow. Firstly, the good things are that the design and direction are really good. The city and characters are apropos of each other and mostly realistic. The actors themselves always do a good job and are mostly consistent and generally lean more toward reality, although the show dips into melodrama and some annoying clech├ęs here and there. It's actually pretty fun to watch and the story so far is good, but kind of absurdly linear.

Secondly, just about everything else is annoying, and even some of the good things are annoying.

Monday, November 05, 2012

Not My Desk

Not ever not my desk
There's just something about Christopher Livingston that's amazing. I started reading Concerned a few months before it ended, and ever since then I've read just about everything by Chris. He's ingeniously funny and clever. His writing is just about the best I've ever read.

Sunday, November 04, 2012

Motivation


I'm not very good at motivation. I often find myself most motivated by sad things. I have a very short motivational playlist of music I started on Spotify a while ago. I didn't really finish it, but most of the songs are depressing, like Mad World and LGFUAD. I don't know why I find sad things motivational.

Games


I love video games.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Tablets, Part4: The Archos 101 G9

So I have a few Archos tablets, and I think you'll know the theme by now if you've read about them: they're low performers, but they're very cheap. I don't have much good to say about the 101, so I'm going to be brief.

The Archos 101 is a larger tablet, about the same size as the iPad (but the aspect ratio is different, so they're shaped differently). Its screen is actually pretty nice, today the resolution would be seen as paltry, but I've never felt that the screen was inadequate. We primarily used the 101 to play Netflix in our bedroom because it has a micro HDMI port.

The thing about the 101 is that it's slow, really slow. We have the 101 Turbo Edition, which supposedly has the same processor as the Galaxy Nexus,  but it performs like garbage. I don't know if this is a kernel issue or a lack of skilled software development, or if Archos really phones in the hardware, but it really hampers the experience. The issues with the Netflix app that I've spoken about before are the worst on the Archos 101. Scrolling through the Netflix app is impossible due to being unresponsive and extremely delayed.

Sadly, the Archos 101 should outperform my current Smartphone, but it can't even do that. It's sad and unfortunately we don't use it as much as we could especially considering its large, pretty screen.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Tablets, Part 3: The Kindle Fire

I bought my Kindle Fire more or less on a whim last year. I had enough money to pick one up and I knew I could get one from Target, which was a few minutes' drive away. I wandered around the store for a few minutes, getting nervous but increasingly excited about the idea. I approached the clerk in the electronics department, and he was actually really pleasant and knowledgeable. I know he was trying to get me to buy the Target Warranties (thankfully I didn't, they would have been useless to me), but I really didn't have the money for it.

School

About a year ago I dropped out of college. I wasn't doing poorly, and I certainly wasn't struggling to keep up. My classes, at least at the time, weren't hard. I excited to learn more about Information Technology and the career it would bring me into. School, however, just wasn't something I had ever enjoyed; I actually really hate the traditional education system. It's slow, light-handed, and expensive.

In school I always felt at a standstill. I learned slowly, if at all, and constantly found myself bored. My mother  told me that this feature was the best part of school, that I could live without much worry for finding a job and have some economic and financial safety. Her argument never made sense, although most of her arguments followed the same path. She argued that life is hard and questioned how I would handle it, and my answer could only ever be that I have to live my own life. If life is hard, I have to experience that difficulty for myself. Honestly, if I had followed my mother's advice I wouldn't be who I am today. I would never have learned how terrible it is to work 40 hours a week for very little money. I wouldn't know what it's like to live paycheck-to-paycheck. I would never know what it means to do nothing. I would never have learned how to be happy.

I'm not saying that living like this is fun. Learning these things has been essential. I know now that I don't want to live like everyone else. I know now that school and my mother kept me from learning these lessons, despite this education being more important than any scholastic lesson I could possibly find. My first three years of school were spent holding my own hand and waiting. Holding my breath for the next big step. I thought that school would be a door to a better life.

If you're like me, know that there is no door. Know that the diploma you'll get from school won't be the satisfaction you're looking for.Everyone I know who has graduated has had the same reactions: a sigh or relief that it's all over. Maybe some are happy that they have a degree and I know in the long run having a degree is better but none of my friends are anything more than relieved to not be in school. If you're in school for anyone but yourself, you're winning a loser's game. If I had taken some time to figure out what I would do with school, I probably would have liked it much more. I would have gone to school for technical writing, and maybe gotten several graduate degrees later on. Today I doubt I'll do that. I burned all the bridges I had to school, by failing all of my classes. I didn't want to go back, and I know it wasn't the best decision I've ever made, but god damn is it the happiest decision I've ever made.

I hate school. It's not that I hate learning, or even that I hate doing work (although being in deep depression really forced me to never doing it), but I really didn't like my mother's constant, consistently obtuse pressure. As I've alluded, I wasn't in school for myself, I was doing it to please my mother. I thought it was the only way to make something of myself, and, I know now, that isn't true. I still learn, I learn everyday and I love learning. I try to write more and I'm going to force myself in the coming years to write more. I've decided that I want to write. I want to make content. I want to be heard, and I need to be understood.

I don't remember when I stopped going to school or what brought me to that decision. I have a diary I kept during that time and I'm sure I could find out if I read through that, but I know that the exact day and moment won't be in there. I know because my computer died during that time and I quit school when it was still out of commission and I couldn't write in my diary.

So it's almost a year later. I couldn't say if I'm better for what's happened, and not much has changed since then. I still have the same depressing dead-end job, and I haven't really figured out what I'm doing, but my road has become clearer. I'm happy now because I feel like I can see. I feel like I'm my own person now, I feel like I'm in control. When I was in school, I felt clouded. I couldn't figure out where I was going or where I was. I didn't see the end, even though four years of school is actually pretty short. I was confused at the best of times, and utterly lost for the rest.

I wasn't happy a year ago. I was severely depressed, and I has been depressed since I was 13 or so. I was depressed for many reasons, some made up by me and others are legitimately terrible parts of my life. Leaving school is the biggest part of exiting my depression because it was the first big decision I made for myself and not for someone else. I left home, but it was to get away and escape my family and mother. I was still following what she told me, more or less. Escape doesn't work.

Instead I followed what I wanted to do for the first time in my life. I did the things I wanted to do. I learned about myself and what I wanted. I listened to my heart. Everything I had done up to that point was either in opposition of my mother or to make the most money I could (that's why we go to school, anyway). I had never done anything to be happy, only to piss off other people or to please them. Never myself. I decided for myself. I decided to live my life happily.

Today I know more about myself than I ever did before. I can admit when I'm wrong and I know what my faults are. I accept those things and I know what makes me happy. I know that life is essentially a rat race to no where. Essentially most steps we make are circular, as if we're just walking round and round. Eventually we spin out and realize there is no reason to do anything. Inherently, living life is meaningless. It's rare and special, but meaningless. I understand that meaninglessness now. I understand that there isn't enough time to spin out or follow a cycle.

There is only time to be happy, and that's the hardest part of life. The hardest thing I've ever done is be happy. It took me almost 22 years to be actually happy, and I don't know how long it would have taken if I had followed the cycle and let myself burn out. I don't want to imagine such a stark hell.

Thursday, June 07, 2012

Tablets, Part 2.5: My Phone

Yeah, my phone is in there too
I love tablets, and I loved my first two tablets for different reasons at different times. They both helped me get into podcasts and internet stuff. The A28 introduced me to Android. It was a very rough introduction to Android, but I thought the Tablet was just made out of garbage parts. My love of Android never faltered; I was biased well before the A28 and pretty much stayed that way.

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Tablets, Part 2: The Archos 28

Still Standing
With the Archos 5, I had gained an interest in Archos as a company. I made sure I kept up with each new generation. The Archos 5 is a sixth generation tablet and Archos is in their 9th Gen now. Gen 7 was an odd place because Archos took it as a chance to get into Android. As early Android Tablets go, they weren't great. They had resistive touch screens and didn't preform as well as phones at the time. Hell, they didn't even preform as well as Generation 6 did. So, I skipped over it.

I didn't skip over Gen 8, though, and that's where the A28 comes in.

Saturday, June 02, 2012

Tablets, Part 1: The Archos 5

Kindle Fire, Archos 101 G9 and Archos 5 G6
Tablets are the trend, and some people think they're the future. The Late Steve Jobs said that we were in a 'post-PC', world. Maybe he said post-desktop, but I think he was taking stabs at Microsoft and Windows anyway. I don't think that's true and I don't think it will ever be true because having a nice hardware keyboard and mouse is more or less heaven. Also, modularity is also a very nice thing. I'd like to be able to buy more RAM or install a new hard drive etc etc. Also, high end Video editing and 3d Modeling aren't things of the past, so desktop computers aren't going anywhere anytime soon.

I do like tablets though. I might even say that I love them. I've owned at least four, and while my collection isn't growing anytime soon, I do think they're part of the future.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Going Home

JoCo
I haven't been home in almost six months. Of course, by home, I mean the house I grew up in. The house my parents own. I think it's about time I talk about it.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Speedcubing

My Beat up Cube
I've been able to solve my Rubik's cube for a few years now. I learned from a simple Layer By Layer(LBL) method from Popular Vlogger Dan Brown. It was enough for me. I manage to get my time to around 1 minute and progressed no more. I didn't try to learn any more advanced stuff, but I did manage to pick up a lot of tricks along the way. I learned why each algorithm I used was important and understood what they did. Recently, I felt like I wanted to do it faster, so I looked into speedcubing.

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Realm of The Mad God

Press Start to Play
I don't like MMOs. They're just very difficult for me to get into. Generally it takes a while before you're into it. Before you know what to do, how to do it, who to talk to, who to not talk to. It's just a lot of work for a game. They also normally require a lot of upkeep, and normally they cost a lot of money, at least some of the better MMOs.

Realm of the Mad God is easily the best MMO I've ever played (outside of Your World of Text, of course). In short, it's a Flash-based Twin-Stick Shm'up Rougelike MMORPG.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Growing

Me at 16, I think
When I first moved out of my parent's house I made a video of the Apartment I moved into, just to show it to everyone. I was happy, my apartment was much cleaner then and it looked a bit different. Not a lot has changed since then (it's been about a year at the time of writing).

What has changed is unexpected. At first being here was just the best my life could be. I was out on my own doing new and different things. I just felt free to be who I wanted to be and do what I wanted to do. Of course, it took much longer to figure out what that meant.

It took me a while how to figure out how to be Awesome.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Driver's ED

Never run out of gas again
Most people are terrible, terrible drivers.

I'm not.

Friends

Friends
My recent post on social networks got me thinking about friends. In that article I talk about how I dropped around 170 of my Facebook Friends in an attempt to improve my Facebook experience.

I dropped to 17 friends originally and that grew steadily to 40 before I stopped using Facebook all together. I don't have 40 friends. I don't think I even have 17 friends. 7 might be too many still.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Learning to Tie Your Shoes

Shozies

So it's probably been a while since you've tied your shoes. I know I haven't tied my shoes since the first time I put them on. I put them on, tied them once and each time after that I've never untied or tied my shoes. I just take them off and put them on with the laces tied.

In all honesty, it probably wouldn't take too much time for me to just untie the laces when I take the shoes off and tie them back up when I wear my shoes again, but I don't take the time.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Social Networks

Social Networks help everyone connect. I use one everyday: Twitter.

I mean, I've used just about all of them at one point. It took me a little while to realize it, but using Facebook and MySpace always made me angry. I would walk about from the experience sour and annoyed. I didn't realize it was Facebook/MySpace and I didn't know why once I found out.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Windows 8 Consumer Preview UI

This image isn't square enough
I used Windows 8 for the first time around a month and a half ago and I was mildly impressed. At the time, the Developer Preview had been out for a while and I just wanted to give my two cents just before the Public Beta, or Consumer Preview, hit the internet.

Having spent some time with a much more complete product, specifically one that actually works, I have a lot more to say on the UI. I said it before, but I'll say it again: it manages to seamlessly merge mobile and desktop ideals while managing to further neither.

Monday, March 12, 2012

UI


With my adventures of Windows 8 I came into a long standing discussion of Human Computer Interface and Interaction Design. Windows 8 is probably the most dramatic change of UI in Windows ever, and its focus is seemingly only on improving new ideas, or moving onto mobile platforms. CES in the last few years has been about that, pretty much: mobile technology and new ways to interact with Technology. I admit that I like Windows 8 and its new ideals, but newer isn't always better.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Windows 8

The Start Menu
I recently (as of Yesterday) started using the Windows 8 Developer Preview. In all honesty, it's more like a Windows 8 Developer Alpha, Sorry Most Shit Is Broken Preview, Kind Of. Click any picture to make it bigger, by the way.

Almost everything is different and the OS seems more fit for a phone or tablet, a field Windows 8 is trying to occupy. But it's also a fit for being a Desktop OS. While Android is slowly closing the gap between microOS and Desktop Computing just through its evolution, Windows 8 tries to do both at the same time

And it works, mostly. (Or TL;DR I like it)

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

If, At All, Unlikely

I am a person who is an if. If, at all, unlikely. I am unlike almost all people I have ever met. Polymathic in my study, accepting of everyone and almost rudely kind.

This is by no means praise, it is a realization which I've come to time and time again over the past year or two. I am not who most people are, I am not even what some people are. I am what a handful of people might be. My existence is unlikely and hilariously uncouth. Everyday I wake up to a new morning with new possibilities, only limited by what I think is possible on whatever morning I might be waking on.

This is an odd time in my life because I am no longer who I used to be. A year ago I was a different person. Two months ago I was a different person from who I was a year ago. I am now even more different than I have ever been before. Change is hard, both to do and accept. I changed for myself, but also for the world. I am now convinced that I can help the world by living from without it. I'll exist on the outside and accept that is what I am. I am on the outside of the world at large.

I am almost no one in comparison to everyone. I'm less than no one. I'm so close to zero that it's a joke. The amount of people who watch and enjoy the Jersey Shore outnumber me by the probable millions. One divided by one million is pretty damn close to zero, so I'm a zero. But I'll show everyone what a zero can do. Zero is powerful because of how different it is from every other number. It breaks the most laws in the mathematical world and I'll do that in the real world.

I'll change the world by showing I'm different, and that I'm right. I'll show the world that it's wrong and it needs to know this. I'll do that, probably not by myself, but I've never been more sure that I'm not wrong than I have ever been. I'll be myself so hard that everyone will notice and appreciate it. I will no longer be in the background, I will shout until someone notices and maybe they'll learn, but it won't be enough. I'll shout until everyone here's me, and that will not be enough. I will shout until everything stops, and that will not be enough. I will shout until everything changes, and maybe that will be enough.

I know I'm not right; I know I'm wrong. There is nothing wrong with being wrong, but there isn't so much right about being right all the time either. You have to be wrong before you do something good. You have to do something good to be wrong as well. No one was right the first time. Almost no one is right the last time and now I know. I know that and I am superior. I know that and I will succeed.