Saturday, December 04, 2010

I'm going to sell my dog and other thoughts

Yesterday I asked my mother to describe bipolar disorder. I asked her because she owns a copy of the DSM IV and she's training to become a social worker. This morning, after a night of no sleep (standard for me) my mother asked me if I was going through a manic episode.

When I reacted a little negatively to this, she then asked me if I was thinking rapidly and if I was making plans (such as selling my dog). I told her no. When I told my girlfriend about this, she asked me if I asked my mother about seeing a therapist. Apparently everyone thinks I'm crazy.

I have been writing a paper on Bipolar Disorder. I do not think I have bipolar disorder, especially after learning a lot about it and its diagnosis from the DSM IV. Being bipolar would suck. A lot. But I'm not bipolar. I'm not crazy. At least I try not to be.

A topic that was often discussed in school (while I was in high school anyway) is: 'what is normal?' For high school kids that is a quandary which they never seem to escape. It is some kind of existential argument they have within themselves as the rest of the world: 1. laughs at their stupid problems, 2. doesn't care about them and 3. knows what normal means.

Being normal, is simply, the level at which society openly accepts you. Everyone is different and there is no real norm (at least not in the US) at which people operate. Done, moving on.

Really, what I want to talk about is why people think I'm crazy. I don't think I'm crazy, but that's far too self serving and this entire argument is unjustifiable by me, but I will do so anyway (because crazy people don't do that). I've always thought of myself as an intelligent fellow with a naturally high inclination to learn new things. I've always had a different way of thinking, but I've never thought that is eccentric.

You see, I've always thought about what it takes to break out of societal norms into something that is easier to understand or do. Even as a kid, I've done things to make life easier (or at least tried, kids are stupid). At a young age I noticed that people generally live their lives differently with different methods, habits, smells etc... And this intrigued me. I've always had an open mind (but I'm not gay, don't think I'm saying that) when it comes to most everything.

This has gotten me to really dislike how most people live their lives, with a closed mind. As an American, it's hard to point to one thing that most people do, or how Americans view a certain subject. In America we have organizations such as PETA, but then we also have Texas. It's all very different and hard to understand. Americans then tend to be more open minded as I've found. South Americans, The Chinese and Haitians are people who I interact with a lot, and they've tended to be much less open minded. It's almost a paradox when we consider the view most people have on Americans, as even Americans themselves look down on America.

I'm going to stop now because this post has proven that I'm crazy, self serving and racist.

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